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This time I get the headline from Kotaku, VR Porn Has Made Some Progress With Breats, At Least, but it’s not like this is new. It seems like every time I hear anything about Oculus Rift anymore, it’s about the thing’s porn potential. I’m certainly not anti-porn, or anti-porn-game, hell I just finished HuniePop and loved it (Kyu’s mah gurl :P). But as someone who likes to get off the old fashion way and without a several hundred dollar computer strapped to my face (that goes for you too, Google Glass), does Rift offer anything for me?

That’s the thing about new technology. We say for years that we want it, then it arrives and we have no clue what to do with the thing. There are good games being made for Oculus, but it’ll be a while until it settles in, and by then Sony will have probably ripped it off anyway.

And what is it we’re supposed to be so excited for anyway? As a bespectacled person, attaching two screens to my face isn’t that exciting. There are some new features that Oculus offers, demonstrated by the game Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. But emersion isn’t one of them.

That’s why this Oculus porn stuff is so weird to me. The thought seems to be, “It’ll be like you’re actually having sex!” but it won’t. Even if you do combine it with the Ju-C Air. You can’t get over the fact that you have a machine strapped to your face, or that you had to press an ON button, or that this supposedly realistic sex simulation is with a god damn cartoon character (though, if it’s Chi from Chobits the ON button would actually make some sense). I just don’t see how any of that adds up to be much more immerse than a standard POV film.