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Team Magma Grunt

I see a… a butterfly?

Team Aqua and team Magma. The antagonist organizations of the Hoenn Region, intent on changing the way we look at climate change. In the original Ruby and Sapphire games they were represented by a bunch of red or blue pixels, that sorta looked like a person if you looked at them right. But for the upcoming remakes the designs across both teams get serious upgrades, since graphics are now a thing that we have plenty of. So let’s take a look at these new designs.

   There are 5 designs per team, the Boss, a male admin and a female admin, and then a male and a female grunt (or, rather, a ton of male and female grunts that all just happen to be identical icosuplets).

Starting with Magma, Leader Maxie. He’s uhh… well I see what they were going for. He’s a tall guy with glasses, and looks like he would be food critic. Maybe he should move to Lumiose City. I’m not a big fan of it, but I can’t say it’s a bad design. Hell, the critic look actually works, since he’s supposed to be this stuck up “Land is better than water. My opinion is ultimate truth!” guy.‏ Also his glasses have sideburns. Just thought that was important.

Admin Tabitha. This is the male admin (I feel bad for anyone named Tabitha that I had to specify that). He’s fat, comes from the Brock School of Ophthalmology, the Genshiken President School of being a creepy ass bastard! I kinda wanna punch him, and I sure as hell don’t have anything else to say about him.

Magma Admin Courtney   The female admin, Admin Courtney, is one of the cuetest damn things Pokémon has ever produced. Her bright pink hair matches her uniform, and the team, perfectly, and she has a yellow-horned hood. She’s also the brains of the team, being a scientist, and that combined with her apathetic personality and expression makes me worried she’s the kind of scientist who skipped her Research Ethics class. Personally, I’m not sure about the science of harvesting volcano meteorites to resurrect ancient monsters, but I’d rather not be stabbed so I won’t question her.

Lastly the grunts. Obviously they wear Magma red uniforms, and they also have hoods with horns, though the horns are smaller and black. Other than slightly longer hair, there’re a couple noticeable differences between the male and female variants; the males have slightly larger shoes, the females have some very short shorts instead of pants, and the female tops are visibly tighter.‏

Team Magma Grunts

So, uh. Cool party, right?

Onto the Crips- err, Team Aqua, starting with their leader, Archie. He’s much cooler than Maxie, being more fit and looking more like a literal boss. He’s wearing what looks like a skin tight wetsuit, which probably doesn’t work too well thanks to a flared collar and the fact that he couldn’t resist showing off his pecks (and with a body like that, I can’t blame him). The outfit is mostly blue, but with some gold accessories, making him look like a merman with legs. He’s also sporting the classic Team Aqua bandana, and a butt cape.

Do you doubt the integrity of a man whose muscles can do this?!

Do you doubt the integrity of a man whose muscles can do this?!

Moving on, we have admin Matt, who scares the crap out of me. It looks like he was originally given the same outfit as Archie, but, when he tried putting it on, his Kratos-like muscles shredded the top half, and now he holds the bottom up with some rope. Anyone know that scene from FMA where Alex and Sig meet for the first time and immediately become friends just by flexing their muscles together? Yeah, Pokemon can recreate that with this guy and Bruno.

Aqua’s female Admin, Shelly, is a lot different. While Archie is a super sexy merman, Shelly is a super sexy dancer. And it’s obvious they were going for at least a little sex appeal with this design, having the side over her pants cut out at the thigh and hip, and literally drawing a circle around her breasts. It’s a bit of the Bayonetta look, but with only a fraction of the personality. Her hair’s fairly interesting, fanning out as if it were weightless in the water, she has some blue highlights, and she has a pair of goggles on her forehead. And, like in Team Magma, the girl’s got the brains.

And the grunts. There’s a bit more deviation between the genders now, with each one looking more interesting than on Team Magma. But what really strikes me is the types of differences between the two teams here. Team Magma are all clean cut, fair skinned, a look like they just graduated from a strict military school. While Team Aqua all have a darker skin tone, torn clothes, and appear less coordinated. There’s definitely some sense of race stereotyping in these designs, but it’s still much too early to try to say what that might mean, so I’ll just leave it there.

Don’t Lose Your Way